Yangon, Myanmar

I love the city. You forget about the intransigent smell of betel nut until you touch down in Yangon and step out into the neighborhood. It permeates the street life anywhere people are talking, exhaled in fumes as grinning red lips part over red teeth. Ominous spatters on the sidewalk aren’t blood.
Yangon is different from other cities in Asia. Bustling but laid back, it feels like Burmese culture is not so much “preserved” as it is thriving. The longyi is still standard attire. It feels satisfying to glimpse a narrow-hipped man in a classic green longyi doing construction work, or someone in a white button-up, still crisp despite the heat, walking to tea or the office. People still stop in the middle of what is now a busy road to pay respects on their knees to Sule Pagoda. Palm sugar (with coconut!), tea leaf salad, beef in brown sauce, and plenty of veggie dishes. And milk tea morning, noon, and night.

In Yangon, visit Shwedagon Pagoda at night. Golden spires in builded light on every side. I walked circles around, tracing the days of the week. Wednesday in two elephants. A older novice in burgundy robes rests on one of the many ledges, cell phone in hand. A group of young novice boys chat animatedly near a stupa.

The sweaty day fades with the sun, and the mostly-dark streets show the movements of street vendors closing up and heading home. A few rat shapes dart between trash piles, and dogs take up their napping positions along the doorways.

Yangon is a city of change and tradition, and it has a different feel each time I return. I stare out over the low rooftops, waiting for this semester’s gap students to step out into the sense-rich city.

Living somewhere

Living somewhere is 80% a frame of mind. I’ve lived places though I’ve been there only two weeks, and I haven’t lived in places where I’ve spent months at a stretch. It’s about wanting to be somewhere, of deciding to “be” there, of investing in relationships and habits in the space where you are.

Right now, I live in Cambodia. I’ve only been there two weeks this time, true, and I’ll be gone with work for two-plus months before I’m back, but it feels like home.

I’ve rented a room in a house with a dope roommate, have a gym membership and am *besties* with some of the trainers, and feel comfortable jetting around the city via motorbike.

What a weird feeling! For most of the last three years, I haven’t had an answer to the question “where do you live?” I would reply here-and-there, or say where I’m originally from, or that I crash at my mom’s house when I’m not in asia. But I haven’t really lived anywhere since China, anyways, almost 3 years ago now. In that mostly-nomadic time since my college graduation, I’ve learned so much about myself through transience. From China I learned that outdoor space can be personal space; you can nap anywhere; and temples are a great place for some mental alone-time even when surrounded by people. From nomadic mongolia I learned the true importance of making every possession “do work.” From living in hostels and bungalows across southeast asia I learned to pack and repack constantly, streamlining the process and managing organization in the midst of chaos.

And it is with these nomadic skills honed, my possessions slimmed to the mostly-necessary, that I am excited to indulge in the act of hanging clothes in a wardrobe, of making or not making my bed and having it stay that way, of putting a buddha and incense in a small corner of the room that will be mine for _____. Even nomads stay in one place for a little while. My place, for now, is on a quiet red-dirt track off of National Road 6 just a few minutes from the temples of Angkor. Come and visit! I hope to stay a while.

For Fear Of

For Fear Of

How many lives have been needlessly squashed in the dirt for fear of

The Other
Different foods, clothes, customs
Where I lay my head is home but where you lay your head is
Palates on the color wheel covering the same tongue
One or two

One heart
Blood red or blue

How many chances have I held in my fingertips, running their unmade reels across the insides of my eyelids
As their paper-thin birth certificates slide soundlessly through to the dustbin of history below

Some of these caves hold ten thousands more
Glasses take years to decompose;
Bodies faster;
Ethics faster still

How many times will I let myself die

For fear

Of the other

We are the greatest Frenemy

We are the greatest Frenemy.

“American Exceptionalism”
I have it too, on the surface
When I have to think about it

Leading this trip across SE Asia.
Indochina, we once called it,
that green forest on the map between India and China,
unknowable in its own right

Unfathomably bloodied from American Exceptionalism,
Still working on making bootstraps to pull itself up by,
But bootstraps account for 90% of exports.
I guess US “support” wasn’t really supportive:

(Support of pro-Western leaders regardless
of the desires of the people.
Support of anti-communist leaders regardless
of moral fitness)

Support of weakened and dependent nation-states in the Pacific Theater.
Now Playing: With Your Unknown Lives.
You know what they say, knowing is caring and caring is bad business.

Protect and preServe our 1%.
Our bottom line
“No More American Deaths”
Outside of America, that is.
Carry on with the ones inside the border.

We are the Frenemy.

We whisper support to trusting minorities with our fingers crossed behind our backs
Holding out for the bell
Before sudden and complete amnesia strikes and we’ve had asian food once this week already, so find another friend at the lunch table.

Growing and moulding people like gourds in a garden, ready to be plucked and sent anywhere at the smallest justification.

(Thai paratroopers. Hmong paramilitary. Chiang Kai Shek’s anti-communists. Tibetans. Black American infantry.)

Perishable and expendable.
Perishable goods have a Use By date.

I want to save american lives too. But not at the expense of other lives.
Not “Except American-ism.” Not inperilism.